2017 – California

C A L I F O R N I A
all songs written by Mary Scholz

California

I knew about you, like I knew about California
I knew it was true, but I fought and tried to fly away
/
All that I’d do, it seemed to push me in a west direction
And knowing all I could lose, still I knew it was the only way
\
Falling forward, falling forward
Falling into you
/
The way that you move me, well it put me in a tough position
But seeing all that you do, well I knew I couldn’t walk away
\
Falling forward, falling forward
Falling into you
/
I hear you speak again and I can hardly move
There are good things in this life we try to fight
That we know that we must choose
\
I knew about you, like I knew about California
I knew it was true
And for me, it was the only way

Sleepless Two

I can hear my heartbeat beating in my ears
Just the thought of you and everything around me disappears
You are everything that I have never known
And all I want in life right now is for you and I to be alone
/
A thousand days have passed since I have seen your face
Okay, just three, between you and me, it seems like a damn eternity
And I’m the one who hates the girls who say these things
But all the words you’ve ever said are right here pullin on my strings
\
And I can’t sleep
All I can do is think of you
And then I can’t breathe
I toss and turn ’till the sun returns
And I just can’t keep
My mind from spinning thoughts of you
So come on, Baby
Tell me you’ve been sleepless, too
/
I have come across the other men I’ve known
I’ve seen them walking down the street, I’ve heard them ringing on my phone
But I see them as if I don’t know their names
They fade away into the night because you’re brighter than the day
\
And I can’t sleep
All I can do is think of you
And then I can’t breathe
I toss and turn ’till the sun returns
And I just can’t keep
My mind from spinning thoughts of you
So come on, Baby,
Tell me you’ve been sleepless, too
/
I live for when you breeze across my skin
And I’ve been dying just to be with you again
The way you move, the way you speak
It’s better real than in my dreams
\
And I can’t sleep
All I can do is think of you
And then I can’t breathe
I toss and turn ’till the sun returns
And I just can’t keep
My mind from spinning thoughts of you
So come on, Baby,
Tell me you’ve been sleepless, too
I can’t sleep
All I can do is think of you
And then I can’t breathe
I toss an turn ’till the sun returns
And I just can’t keep
My mind from spinning thoughts of you
So come on, Baby,
Tell me you’ve been sleepless, too

Across That Line

You know I see you across the room
You watch me smile, and you watch me move
I won’t pretend it’s not just fine
I’ll let you watch me, anytime
/
We pass our years with nights like this
Drawing close and moments we choose to miss
And we won’t say a word
It’s the loudest silence you’ve ever heard
\
But do you hear the way I feel
And can you see the way I try
To keep myself from going Across That Line
Why do we try
/
You say some things that I can’t stand
I tell myself that I’d be better with a different man
But I just can’t see past the way you look at me
\
And I can hear the way you feel
And I can see the way you try
To keep yourself from going Across That Line
Why do we try
/
Well, we could say the words
But we both know it hurts sometimes
Tell me, what is it worth
If we just end up saying goodbye
And I don’t want to lose this me and you
\
But I know you feel the way I feel
And I know you try, cause we both try
To keep ourselves from going Across That Line
Why do we try
Why don’t we try
Just kiss me goodnight

Murder Ballad

I tied my name to yours
I didn’t know it’s what I was doing
You even all the scores
And then you claim you didn’t do it
/
You wanted me as yours
But didn’t like the way that I was moving
The world in your control
And all the people your students
\
You showed me the ways of your kindess
While you taught me to stand in the dark
You listed off words to remember
And you hardened my heart
/
My tired eyes ignored
All the places you bruised me
They’re colorful and sore
And so they showed the world the ways you knew me
\
You showed me the ways of your kindness
While you battered me in the dark
You listed off words to remember
And you hardened my heart
/
Oh, I know this is not
Not the way it should be
But I cannot escape
No
I cannot break free
It’s so dark in this room
Yeah, it’s dark next to me
And I’m feeling around for the things I can’t see
I can hear your deep breathing
As you fall asleep
And I feel this weight lifted
While you’re next to me
Oh, it’s not just my spirit
It’s our old tv
And I let it crash down
So it crushes your dreams

I’m so sorry my sweet
It was all just too heavy for me
\
You showed me the ways of your kindness
Well, you taught me to swing in the dark
You listed off words to remember
And you hardened my heart
/
I tied my rope to yours
I swear, I didn’t know what I was doing
I rode ten miles off shore
I thought that you and I could talk through it
You didn’t say much
You didn’t say much
I let you swim around
I like the listless way your body’s moving
[around, and around, and around, and around]
I left you there to drown
So I could claim I didn’t do it
\
You showed me the ways of your kindness
Well you taught me to swing in the dark
You listed off words to remember
Then you hardened my heart
Oh
You showed me the ways of your kindess
But you taught me to swing in the dark
I wish I could say I regret it
But you hardened my heart

Until We Meet Again

Drifting through the open air
Drifting towards the sky
Paper flowers
Everywhere where they died
/
Faces lifted in our eyes
Faces we can’t find
Paper flowers
From the ones left behind
\
Here we wait to begin
Here we wait in a circle with our friends
here we’re saying
Until We Meet Again
/
Drifting through the days and nights
Wishing we had known
Paper flowers
Everywhere where we go
\
Here we wait to begin
Here we wait lighting candles for our friends
Here we’re saying
Until We Meet Again
/
We have gotten so damn good
At vigils in the dark
We’ve forgotten where we stood
Without sirens and broken hearts
All our broken hearts
\
Here we wait to begin
Here we wait lighting candles for our friends
Here we’re saying
Here we wait to begin
Here we say
No more flowers, no more friends
Here we say is where it ends
Until We Meet Again

The Best of Me, The Rest of Me

I might be what you want, Babe
But I can’t be what you need
I could give it my best shot
But it won’t be the best of me
/
I might be what you like lately
You might like what you see
I could give it my best shot
But it won’t be the best of me
\
Well, there was a time
When I had enough
Oh, I could give you the world with love
And I can’t explain
When everything changed
Just know it won’t be enough
/
I can see what you want, Babe
But you won’t find it in me
I could give you my best shot
But it’s not who I wanna be
\
I might be what you like, lately
You might think that I’m free
I could give it my time, Babe
But you can’t have the rest of me
/
Well, there was a time
When I had enough
Oh, I could give you the world with love
And I can’t explain
When everything changed
Just know it won’t be enough
\
I might be what you want, Babe
But I can’t be what you need
I could give it my best shot
But you’d just end up hating me
/
I might be what you like, lately
But you won’t like what you see
I could give you my best shot
But it won’t be the best of me
\
I could give you my best shot
But it won’t be the best of me
/
No, no, I can’t give you my best shot
Cause he still has the rest of me

All The Time

I could listen to you sing
For all my days
I wanna learn your lines of skin
Until we both are old and gray
And I don’t care if I’m a fool for talking this way
Cause there is no one who could love you, baby,
Love you like I love you
Wanna love you every day
/
I could listen to you dream
With all my time
I don’t mind it when you scream
Or when you’re whispering goodnight
And I don’t care if it’s a mess, as long as it’s mine
Cause there is no one who could love you, baby
Love you like I love you
Wanna love you all the time
\
All the time, all the time, all the time
All the time all the time, all the time
All the time, all the time, as long as you say that you’re mine
There is nothing for me but to love you, baby, love you all the time
/
Baby, put your eyes on me
Nice and slow
Now, Baby, tell me what you see
And don’t you tell me you don’t know
Cause I remember every time
You pulled me in close
Cause there is no one who could love you
Baby love you like I love you
Wanna love you don’t you know
\
All the time, all the time, all the time
All the time all the time, all the time
All the time, all the time, as long as you say that you’re mine
There is nothing for me but to love you, baby, love you all the time
/
I could listen to you sing
For all my days
I wanna learn your lines of skin
Until we both are old and grey
And I don’t care if I’m a fool for talking this way
Cause there is no one who could love you
Baby, love you like I love you
Wanna love you every day
\
All the time, all the time, all the time
All the time, all the time, all the time
All the time, all the time, as long as you say that you’re mine
There is nothing for me but to love you, baby, love you all the time

It’s What We Know

Chelsea comes into the room
Dressed in red, with sweet perfume
Her cheeks are stained with words they said
Her eyes, they match her clothes of red
/
Chelsea sits against the wall
She talks it through, explains it all
Cause she has love, but love is hard
And love, it picks at family scars
\
And so we go, and so we go
It’s what we know
/
Sarah waits, she’s not alone
She fills her house, she fills her home
She doesn’t want the things she owns
Her father’s words, her mother’s stones
\
And so we go, and so we go
It’s what we know
/
Mary moves from town to town
She’s found her home, but can’t sit down
She’s learned to love when she’s not around
And so she moves from town to town
\
And so we go, and so we go
It’s what we know